Relationship with ex, what would they be?

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Author: Татьяна Проскурякова

Relations with the former are complicated. Only in rare cases, they go well. All because people find it difficult to maintain mutual respect when their marriage failed. In most cases, have to constantly struggle with his own irritation to the partner. It is not easy to do, considering the fact that each has its own character, expectations and aspirations. Relationship of former spouses largely determined by the fact why they broke up. If you were able to avoid recriminations, the interaction may be tolerable, comfortable. Otherwise have to constantly deal with negative emotions, to learn to resist the surge of unpleasant feelings. All of this usually follows fairly serious disappointment. What could be the relationship with former partners? Let us consider this question.

What's the problem

The main difficulty is that, looking at the person with whom we once had a warm relationship, we begin to experience a whole range of feelings. They are not always pleasant and positive. Because memories sometimes erupted unexpectedly, at precisely the moment when we least expect. Definitely feeling like this it becomes quite difficult to handle.

The fact that every person is accustomed to think first about yourself and not allow in her life someone rudely intervened. Meeting with the past is always an intrusion, and rough, utterly devoid of any preparatory stages. After such moments of disappointment in oneself and the surrounding world comes very quickly, making it impossible to understand the situation from the inside, to reconsider their own beliefs. In most cases it turns out that people, despite their former halves feel only anger, irritation and frustration. Many are too strong resentment, others can't cope with an enduring sense of despair about his own loneliness.

Tolerable politeness

Often relations with the former are that way. They can tolerate each other to a certain point, until the situation will not become quite so unpleasant. Emphatic politeness allows you to communicate without accusations and insults. This was achieved due to the fact that negative emotions are constrained and do not appear so clearly a way.

As a result, the people excluded from their own experiences, ceasing to dwell on what their worries really are. I must admit that this method allows to avoid long-term conflicts, which are sometimes delayed so much that it becomes impossible to find any adequate solution.

Arrogant politeness

Also quite a valid option, if you can't communicate otherwise. Communication will develop on this principle: each of the partners tries to prove the other, that without it it is better. At the initial stage, the feeling will persist, making relations with the former can seriously complicated. The fact that there will be no sincerity. Partners often prefer to deceive themselves and each other. A distinctive feature is that no one wants to accept help from another, even in the case where it is really needed. Former partners, it appears that that's what they will demonstrate their weakness, shows that are not self-sufficient individuals.

Sincere appreciation

This is a rare case when people taking the difficult decision about parting, prefer to remain friends. They make every effort to maintain respectful attitude towards each other and often act together. If the marriage has children, they share responsibilities equally. No one comes to mind to complain about the fact that he has too much to do, while the second partner allegedly slacking and resting. Sincere appreciation helps to prevent all these errors.

If there is an unpleasant situation, people just agree with each other and jointly solve the problem. There is no silence or the desire to escape from difficulties. Very responsible approach to life that allows you to achieve success and to decide on their further steps. Using this method, you can really reach a new understanding of the situation, not to give in to assorted difficulties that seem insurmountable. This is the case when a good relationship with the former due to the assumption of responsibility for the events. Man and woman realize that they need to be able to negotiate in order to come to a satisfactory result.

Aversions

Not open hatred, but still in such interaction, people sometimes lose too much precious energy. They are trying to convince the other that we are right and therefore they must be listened to. Hostile relationship after a divorce usually arise when the rupture occurred hard.

It is assumed that in this case, people even shared the property among themselves, resorted to various artifices, assisted by a lawyer. They lost trust in each other. Respect is also gone. At the meeting, each of the former partners want to take the most advantageous position for themselves, to emphasize the insignificance of the opponent. With a strong desire they have it, of course, impossible to do without special efforts.

Outright hostility

We are talking about that once-close friends now hate each other. Such a scenario is that the partners have lost all respect, have abandoned good manners.

Outright hostility suggests that the former couple deliberately poured mud at each other, insult and humiliate. They do not think about how feel more kids, feeling all this overwhelming chaos. Here it is time to get lost, to cease to understand what is happening. In addition, the constant presence of stress affects emotional and physical health.

Whether to resume the Union

To start ex relationships – a thankless task. If at some point people decided to abandon the society to each other, it is unlikely again to go through mental anguish. In most cases it's not worth it. Most likely in the interaction manifest itself again the old accusations, there prerequisites in order to remain unhappy with each other. And then there will be a feeling of hopelessness and the senselessness of it all. Resumed anew Union almost half of the cases doomed to failure.

The fact is that if you ignore past mistakes, the partner definitely will again annoy you not some actions but just by his presence. Such developments were entirely avoidable, if the time to think about why it is necessary again to tie the fate of a specific person.

Desirable option

Well, when people are smart enough to stop blaming each other of anything. But not all are of such wisdom. It should be understood that the relationship with the former can actually be very tolerant, if people show each other genuine respect and not trying to humiliate. It is very important to be very attentive to what is happening. The only way to keep the appreciation for years to come.

In most cases, is so that people don't find yourself with a willingness to change, do not want to work on your feelings. Here you need to be prepared for the fact that you have to take certain decisive steps that are not always easy to do. After all, this is required to overcome their own pride, to cope with fear and despair.

Instead of a conclusion

Sometimes relationships do leave much to be desired. The conflict over time, only growing, not allowing you to feel the harmony in the soul. If the person is willing to work hard, he can overcome any obstacle, to cope with despair and hopelessness. You need to look at ex-partner not as an enemy.

Best of all, of course, would be to learn to feel his mood and clearly imagine what exactly is your relationship to this person. The beginning of a relationship with an ex is not a good idea to regain composure. If it so happened that people left, it means that something has ceased to bind a few. The most important thing is to understand what you want from life. Then meeting with the past can not hurt, to cause suffering.